So Alone and Afraid

What would I give to be not so insane,
I feel like I'm standing in the rain,
the noise, the cold, feeling alone,
I want to be someone's someone,
to be loved, cherished, cared for,
Yet everyday of my life is the same old thing,
not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough,
I choose to take their anger out on myself,
cutting, burning, scarring,
No one understands the choice that I've made,
hurting, crying, dying,
But I make that decision everyday,
I can't just throw that away,
to want to die, fly, cry,
I want a change,
I need it,
Before I loose myself,
to myself.